The Jargon of Swinging

Every area of specialty has a language of it's own. Here's a quick review of some of the terms and definitions that you may encounter in the world of swinging.

• Soft Swap - A couple that engages in Soft Swap is generally interested in kissing and petting. They may or may not engage in oral sex, but full-body, full-nudity, full-penetration sex is off the menu.

• Full Swap - A couple that describes themselves as Full Swap is into the full range of physical, sexual activities. Anal sex must always be explicitly negotiated, and you can never assume that either one of them is bi-sexual. Otherwise, you can generally take it that they're open to the full range of penetrative sex.
  

• "Hall Pass" - I crossed this term on Lifestyle Lounge, and mention it here in case it has made the transition to the swing community at large. A Hall Pass would mean that one partner has the permission to play solo, without the other partner's involvement. For example - "I'm coming to town for a conference and have a hall pass. Who wants to play?"
  

• On-Premises - An on-premises club or party is one that includes beds and/or rooms where you can get your sexy on with other attendees. Often there will be a dance area, a place for lounging, possibly a bar, and rooms for sexual engagement. Some rooms or areas will be structurally open to viewing by other attendees, some have viewing windows, and some are enclosed and private. Sometimes there's a time limit, implied or enforced, on how long you can occupy a room. The clubs that I've attended all supply condoms, sometimes packets of lube, and all supply clean sheets. When you leave the room, you strip the bed, and the next couple makes their bed with new sheets before they engage. It's a system of common courtesy and convenience.
  

• Off-Premises - An off-premises club or party is one where you've got to take your freak elsewhere. It may be a dance club or a bar rented out for that evening, or a single hotel room, but there may be limits on the level of nudity and sexual play. You can meet, greet, snuggle, flirt, dance, and possibly pet lightly, but once you decide that you want to take it further, go get a room of your own.
  

Are you open to soft or full swap? No swap? Would you ever give your partner a hall pass? Would you rather attend and on-premises or off-premises event? Interesting questions to consider, eh? Until you actually consider them - REALLY consider them - you only think you know the answers.


M. Makael Newby, 2010 - All Rights Reserved - http://mmakaelnewby.blogspot.com

The Etiquette of Swinging

Have you ever wanted to visit a swinger's club?

I've recently been asked to lead a field trip to a local club for some curious newbies. (Parental permission slip NOT required.) Accordingly, let's conduct a brief introduction to the etiquette of swinging...

1) You don't have to do anything you don't want to do - Just because you're hanging out at a swinger's club doesn't mean that you want to get fucked. Many people are drawn to the openness of the swing community, the freedom to fully express themselves without concern or censure. We can talk about our jobs, the weather, politics, and we can talk openly about sex. We can kiss our friends, hug as tightly as we want, and snuggle with attractive acquaintances. Maybe you just want to dance and flirt! In my experience, as many people come for the company as for the hook-up, so there's no pressure to partake.

2) Dress appropriately - Most swinger's clubs have a dress code. Know in advance the rules, and follow them. In general, be stylish, wear clothes that fit your shape and form. That said, many such clubs allow increasing levels of undress if you're willing to go there.Topless with a bikini bottom will likely work better than wearing torn jeans (which probably will keep you from getting in). Arrive fully clothed, and undress on site once you get a feel for the crowd.

3) Ask First - Ask before you touch. Many people at such clubs will allow you to caress and fondle them if there's a certain level of interpersonal chemistry. Introduce yourself, and ask.

4) No means No - Disregarding someone's No will see you booted out the door, and once black-listed in the swing community - good luck at finding willing play partners. You will not want to get with everyone there, and not everyone will want to get with you. Don't take it personally, just accept the 'No' or 'No thank you' graciously and move on.

5) Don't be creepy - I laughed to see this directive at Portland's Club Sesso. What's creepy? Well, if I'm engaged in a public display of sex it would be normal for you to obseve and play a little pocket pool. Staring me down from two feet away and playing with your genitals while I'm having a drink at the bar with a girlfriend would be Creepy, get it? Fit your behavior to the context of the environment.

After that, enjoy yourself! Meet some people, have a drink, dance a little. Walk around and see who's doing what where. Let out your inner voyeur, or your inner exhibitionist. (Tabu Social Club in Catonsville, MD has two poles and a cage on their dance floor - how I miss them!)

You're likely to find that most swingers are normal, everyday people who like a little added sexiness in their lives. They have families, friends, pets, jobs, and concerns just like the rest of us. Let your guard down and you might make some very good friends.


M. Makael Newby, 2010 - All Rights Reserved - http://mmakaelnewby.blogspot.com